Living a Mortal Life

Remember that feeling of optimism when you were a kid, of being able to look forward and speculate about all the wonderful things you were going to do with your life? Then the years went by and you started looking back, wondering why you didn’t do all those wonderful things. You vowed to start making every day count, but more years went by and the next time you looked back at your life it seemed that still nothing much had changed.

Moments of Awe and Wonder

There are moments in all our lives that we will never forget – events, feelings, music, sounds, scents, places, people – the moments we like to share with others and the ones we keep in a special place all to ourselves. Whenever we focus our energy on unpleasant memories and regrets, we give them power and they can block out the good thoughts. Then all we see is the darkness. By focusing instead upon those wonderful memories that evoke positive emotions – like happiness, satisfaction, and love – your darker thoughts and memories have less control over your mood and how you react in certain situations.

Where Have I Been All This Time?

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to live in the Pacific Northwest. When I was in college, I dreamed of having a fast-track career and living a Bohemian lifestyle in a loft apartment in some trendy Seattle neighborhood. I was going to participate in all the cultural activities and walk everywhere whenever possible. While that never fully came to fruition, I did finally move to the Seattle area in 1996. I worked in the high tech industry for almost 17 years and ventured into Seattle from the outlying cities on occasion. I eventually moved across the water to the Olympic Peninsula and did the ferry commute into Seattle for a while. I couldn’t imagine living anyplace other than the Puget Sound area, but after losing my job and being officially unemployed for over three years, I did the unthinkable and moved to Colorado.

I probably would have never moved to Durango if I hadn’t known someone there, but after two years in the high desert of southwest Colorado, I started to question what I was doing there. I had found work and it wasn’t just a job, either. I felt like I was making a difference, making a real contribution. I had joined a writers group and began working on my books again with a passion that had eluded me for quite a while. Even though it wasn’t a place where I pictured living out the rest of my life, I probably would have stayed in Durango if things hadn’t started going very, very wrong . . . which is part of the reason I haven’t posted anything since last September.

Life's Journey

No one ever starts out on the road they are meant to travel upon last. Our journey takes many wrong turns along the way and we often find ourselves in a dead end. Sometimes the solid pavement turns to gravel or sand, and we lose our traction – we become stuck, unable to move forward. Other times, the road disappears completely from beneath our feet and we are forced to find another or to forge a new one. Obstacles often plant themselves directly in our path, and we must decide whether to climb over them, go around them, or simply turn around and go back.

Taking a Stand, Making a Difference

There’s an ideal world and there’s a real world. What happens in the real world can be discouraging and disappointing to say the least. That’s why I make statements about things I believe in and try to take a stand  whenever possible through my actions to help foster an ideal world. There are things that I believe need to change for the betterment of all humankind, as well as for the planet and all the animals on it.

How things should be and how things are, what should happen and what actually happens, often times are a universe apart. This is primarily because there are several billion people on this planet, each with their own idea of how the world should be. Obviously, not everyone can be right.

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back

Before moving to Durango, I had made a conscious choice to live a simpler life, to give up many of the materialistic obsessions of society, like my car. Through reflection over the years, I had been growing into a life of awareness, in both the world around me and the world within me. I learned as much as I could about off-grid living and sustainability, herbs and holistic healing, meditation and other healthy lifestyle choices. I became a Reiki practitioner and even an ordained minister. I felt a deep connection to the divine and looked forward to progressing further in my quest for walking a more enlightened path. Ironically, my move has done little to advance this feeling of inner peace. In fact, it has done the exact opposite.

Slum Lords

This article was originally going to be posted in early March, right after I received an eviction notice from my landlords because I had the audacity to put my requests for repairs in writing. However, I decided it might not be to my advantage to post it while I was looking for a new home. I have since moved into a fairly new condo and have zero issues with the landlords who own it. Despite living in a relatively worry-free building, I still stand by what I had written on this subject and decided to post it after all. Call it venting if you like, but I consider it a form of releasing all the negative energy I’ve been holding onto regarding my most recent move.

The New Pledge of Allegiance

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

I remember reciting that pledge every morning in school at the beginning of class; however, it was with the under God addition that had been inserted in 1954 during the communist threat insanity. Even as a young child, I was quite proud when I spoke those words. “I am an American,” I thought. “This is what it means to be an American.” I believed that we were better and smarter than all the people who were unfortunate enough to live in the other not-so-privileged countries of the world. The propaganda had worked.

To Dream The Possible

I’m a dreamer, a big picture kind of person. I’m able to see beyond the mundane details to witness life on a much grander scale. It’s taken me a long time to finally figure this out, but that frightens most people. When I start “thinking aloud” about all the wonderful possibilities and which ones excite me the most, those people will automatically assume that I want to enlist their help to make it happen, that they will be asked to commit their time, effort, and/or money to make it become a reality for me while I sit back and reap the benefits and do nothing. They can’t or won’t see past their own fear or selfishness to just enjoy all the possibilities with me. In the face of adversity, sometimes all we have are our dreams – it’s what keeps us going, what keeps us striving for a better life. Not all possibilities will be become a reality, but that’s the beauty of dreaming – anything is possible!